The Pink Bible

When I was 18 years old, I lived with two roommates in an apartment in East Lansing. We got along okay, but one of them had a friend that stayed with us all the time, to the point where she was basically living with us as well. She didn't pay rent and she was not very nice to me, and there were a few occasions I tried to make her leave but somehow the situation always became resolved enough to let her stay there, even though I really didn't want her to.

Looking back, I see that she was a very passionate person and I did like that about her. When she loved, she did it with all her heart. Whether it was a person or a book or a song, if she loved something she immersed herself in it fully. I liked witnessing that. But in the end, it didn't make up for all the mean things she did to me, and eventually we all parted ways and I never saw or spoke to her again.

At some point during the move out, our stuff got mixed up and I acquired her Bible. I'm not sure how or why, because I never read the Bible then and I wasn't a Christian at that time. I didn't even realize or pay attention to the fact that she was a Christian- probably because I didn't care and didn't like her much. I didn't know what to do with it and I'm not sure when I even realized I had it. The thing that's crazy to me is that through all my moves since then I was able to not lose this book that didn't belong to me and I had no interest in reading.

That was December of 2004.

When I became a Christian five years later, I didn't need to buy a Bible because I already had one- this pretty pink one that was somehow right where I needed it to be at the time.

Over the years I poured over it and learned so much about Jesus and grew deeply in my faith. But there's another special blessing this particular Bible has given me, and I'm not sure what words I would use to describe it. You see, this old roommate actually read this Bible and made her own notes and markings in it.

I feel like as I've gotten to know the character of Jesus, I've also gotten to know Katie. I can see, by her markings, certain parts of God's word that stood out to her. I can see, by her writings, that she had a tender relationship with Jesus and truly loved him. And despite how she treated me 13 years ago when we were both young, immature teenagers, I can't help but have grown to love her- after all, we passionately love the same God. I'd like to think that today she is blessed with a family and all good things, and is a "virtuous wife".

One day as I was reading, I noticed this next page and realized that she made these markings in Dec '04- while we were living together.

Regardless of how I felt about her then, I can see how God has used her as a blessing in my life through our shared Pink Bible. He was pursuing me then, and even though I wouldn't come to know Him for another five years, it's comforting to see how he can turn a situation like that into a blessing.

I'm thankful I never succeeded at kicking her out of my place, and thankful for God always being in the details and all situations, good and bad. And I'm thankful for the sour relationship-turned-sisterhood that I now share with Katie through God's word, even though she undoubtedly doesn't know about any of this.

Maybe someday our paths will cross and I can tell her the whole story.

-Lindsay

10 Career and Life Lessons Learned From 10 Years In The Cosmetology Industry: Part 2

I hope you enjoyed Part 1 of this series! Here's Part 2... enjoy!

4. You can be firm and compassionate simultaneously.

When I was promoted to management at a former job, I had a really hard time adjusting. I went from being everyone's friend to being their boss. My natural response to managing my team was to make everyone happy. Unfortunately, that isn't possible. My problem was that I was looking at the situation in black and white. I thought you were either a tough boss or a compassionate boss. It took me awhile to learn that the best results come from being both. I learned that being compassionate is a vital trait of being a leader, but it needs to be complimented by firmness. You might not make everyone happy, but you will earn more respect and ultimately help your team become better employees.

5. Staying humble keeps you on top of your game. Or, be absorbent. 

I know in #2 I stressed the importance of letting yourself shine. Here I am talking about not only being willing to learn, but seeking the opportunity to learn. Nobody is such an expert in their field that they have nothing more to learn. Education is an integral part of your journey as a professional. I don't care if you are the President of a major international company or an entry level employee at Subway, if you aren't growing then you are declining. When I look at the most talented, skilled, high performing people I have worked with, I see the ones who were always willing to learn something new, even if they were already the "best" on their team. Adopt an attitude of valuing and seeking education, and watch yourself bloom.

6. The day always ends with your head on a pillow.

Let me ask you a question: Have you ever had a day on the job where the task ahead seemed so overwhelming that you had to talk yourself out of walking out and quitting on the spot? Me too.

In the Cosmetology world there is a service called a Jheri-curl. Mostly performed on African Americans, this service requires a full relaxing service (to get the natural curl out), followed by a shampoo, followed by a perm with the solution on it while you wrap (unlike a traditional perm). Take into account the added stress that comes with trying to wrap the rods as fast as you can because the hair is processing as you go, plus throw in the fact that to protect your hands from the solution you have to wear gloves that are constantly getting stuck in the rods, flinging toxic chemicals in your face when they snap back. Lets just say it is a feat for a seasoned pro to get them out the door in three hours- for a cos student, about four and a half. We only had one client in the whole school who got one. And she always requested me.

That is an extreme situation, but there are others that deserve overwhelm. Being busy and pregnant. Working when you're sick, or have a headache. Knowing you have a sick child at home. A slow day that is dragging. So many situations that make work that much more unbearable. What always seemed to help me was the mindset of knowing that no matter what I had to endure during the day, the end result would always be the same: Me relaxing in bed with my head on the pillow. Just focus on that, even take a bathroom break if you need to and visualize yourself savoring the softness of your sheets and the warmth of your bed. Having that to look forward to is sure to make the day a little more bearable.

Stay tuned for part 3!

-Lindsay

4:30am

"You'll miss these days."

That's what everyone says. I think it's easier to say that once you're past the stage of having littles, fully rested with the ability to think clearly and have perspective. Honestly, I'd love to ask someone who says this if they would go back and do it over again. Maybe some would (if they were old enough, or wanted their youth back). I'd be willing to bet most would not, when faced with the reality of having to go back to the stages of immense neediness and helplessness, sleepless and broken up nights, and butt wiping. Sleep deprivation. diapers. Isolation. Baggage. Putting yourself on the backburner, always. Not having a moment's peace during the day. Inability to carry a conversation with anyone, including spouse, for longer than a minute. The constant whining, dishes and laundry. Having to pay a babysitter so you can drink a coffee while walking around Target for an hour. Or take a nap lay awake in bed feeling guilty because you're paying someone for the ability to attempt sleep while your child cries for you in the other room.

I know it's all perspective. The great moments far outweigh the struggles, and just like when you leave someone you were in love with, at the end of the day it's not the struggles that stay on the mind but the good things. The nostalgic things. When you look back you see what you miss, and wonder why you ever wished it to be over. You wonder why you didn't appreciate it fully, and the challenges seem petty in comparison with the joy that the good parts have forever imprinted on your heart.

Ten years from now, I'm not going to be thinking about diapers and sleepless nights and whining.

I'm going to be remembering sweet, chubby cheeks and soft, kissable lips. I'm going to remember the sweet sound of "ma-ma" and the stumbled walking into my arms as they're learning to walk. I'm going to remember the giggles and laughter. The innocence and easy forgiveness when I'm a less than perfect parent. I'll miss the toys strewn about the floor, signs of life, laughter, health and imagination. When my children are older and more humbled by a world that can sometimes get them down, I'll miss their simple excitement of getting a slushie at the gas station.

I'll miss their stories about animals and superheroes, and their determination to become a scientist or firefighter, or whatever their little heart dreams up in the moment. I'll miss checking on them at night before I go to bed and see their sweet sleeping face, and I'll miss the feeling of gratefulness that they're still little enough for me to protect fully. I'll miss bathtime bubbles and convincing them that a green smoothie will actually make their muscles grow bigger. I'll miss going on walks and dressing them how I want. I'll miss reading them books. I'll miss them trusting that I can make their problems go away. Holding them. Snuggling them. Comforting them.

That is what I will remember when it's all over. And I will miss these days.

Lindsay

10 Career and Life Lessons Learned From 10 Years In The Cosmetology Industry: Part 1

When I think back over ten years of working in the cosmetology industry and customer service in general, there were a lot of great lessons I learned. I've taken time to think of what are, in my opinion, the ten most important things I've learned so I could share them with you. I hope they challenge and encourage you the way they have for me.

1. Nobody likes (or wants to help) a victim.

When I was in Cosmetology school, most things that were wrong with my life weren't really my fault. Or, at least this was my way of thinking. It didn't cause too much of an uproar in my life until I found myself in a real pickle a few months into my classes. I was on a day schedule that was not working for me or my job at the time, and I was skipping a lot of my classes. Add the fact that I had partier roommates and never went to bed before 1am, and my attendance was really looking shabby.

I spoke with my school director about switching to part-time night classes, and she looked me dead in the eye and said, "Why should I let you do that?" I explained how everything in my life was out of my control and how I couldn't keep going with this schedule, and a handful of other excuses that I apparently had no control over. Lets just say the conversation didn't go well.

So what did I do? I added her to my list of complaints. I was a victim of my circumstances, and I made sure everybody around me knew about it. Finally, a girl a little older than me got to hear my sad little story and gave it to me straight.

"You are not a victim. You are in charge of your life. Your victim mentality is keeping you where you are at. Own up to your circumstances and realize that it is all your fault, really. Once you change the way you talk about your situation, people will start responding differently."

She was not being mean, just honest. And it was exactly what I needed to hear. I've carried that advice with me ever since and it has helped me on numerous occasions. And in case you are wondering, I met with the director again with a more humble attitude, asked for forgiveness and asked for mercy through my request, and wouldn't you know? I graduated as a part-time attender.

2. Don't downplay your talent. Or, Modesty is NOT sexy.

We all know and love modest people, don't we? People who do great things but wave off recognition or act genuinely shy about it, never boast in themselves or their accomplishments. That actually is a very attractive quality in a social situation, but let me tell you- it does not apply in the workplace!

A few years into my career, I landed a hot job at one of the best salons in my area. I dressed to impress during the interview and wowed her with my professional attitude. However, a few weeks into my training, with the intention of coming across as "humbly eager to learn", I instead unintentionally gave the impression that I didn't really know what I was doing and asked remedial questions that I knew the answer to in hopes that I would make the person teaching me feel special and knowledgable, plus I didn't want her to feel like I was competing or stubborn to learn.

Bad move.

My boss started having our manager give me tasks and assignments to work on which were unnecessary (but I had unintentionally made them feel like I needed it). They started treating me differently and I lost the respect of my boss and some co-workers. Now this isn't to say that their actions were right, because there were errors on their part also. But I learned a REALLY good lesson that being a humble person and letting yourself shine at work are not mutually exclusive, and I had to get over my fear of "coming off this way or that" and really own the fact that I was an expert in my field and worthy of being in my position.

3. Mean bosses can teach you a lot.

I have had three pretty difficult bosses who have helped shaped who I am as an employee and person. At the time it is really hard to see what you are gaining from being treated poorly or unprofessionally, but if you think critically about the situation I can guarantee there are hidden blessings amidst. Here are a few examples of how to see the blessings through the BS:

     -You learn not to take things personally, and develop thicker skin.
     -You learn how to look at yourself critically.
     -You develop an inner sense of strength and get practice guarding your heart.
     -You learn tremendous work ethic when someone is constantly riding your a**.
     -You get great practice loving your enemies (ha!)
     -You develop the ability to rise above your circumstances and learn from them.
     -Once the above are embraced, you get really darn good at what you do.

Notice above how I used the words develop and learn multiple times. Mean bosses though they may be, serve a purpose in your journey. In hindsight, I am grateful for my experiences with them that grew me in a positive way, and forgive the rest.

I want to share this all in stride, so stay tuned for the next post!

-Lindsay